It takes a gigantic amount of willpower to act and be mature on things coming your way or things you think are out of your control.

But maturity is rewarding in the sense that you won't be haunted of the possibility of committing the same mistakes again because you already learned your lesson.

And you live it by heart.


So please, dear self, never forget those lessons.

This year was just a mix of good and bad things for SM Entertainment. For those clueless souls, SM Entertainment is handling DBSK, Super Junior, SHINee, SNSD and f(x) among others.

This year, JaeChunSu of DBSK filed a case against SME that rocked the whole Kpop World. It was a time when Cassies (DBSK's fanclub) has cheered, "Always Keep the Faith". That the group will win against SME but more importantly, for DBSK to stay together even if Yunho and Changmin are not filing any case and staying under SME's care.

I don't know if it was a good thing they have THSK (their group name under Avex Japan where they are currently active). Yes, it might have been difficult working with each other like this but I guess, working with each other will let you become nostalgic and find it in their heart to hope for the better.

But just this month, Super Junior won Daesang at Golden Disk Awards which is a coveted award for Korean Artists. It was a glorious moment for them and I was so proud of my boys. They do deserve that award more than anyone. A reporter even commented that it was great time people notice them as they are and not always referring to them as under DBSK's shadow.

But working under the same company would not let them get off the shadow. Just today, Hankyung, the only chinese member of Super Junior, filed a case for termination of exclusive contract with SME.

I've always been pragmatic about the status of the group. I know that sooner or later, I will be saying, "Always Keep the Faith" too. SME just never learned their lesson. From HOT to Shinhwa and now, DBSK. And lastly, Hankyung.

But I never expected to say it this early. The earliest time I was expecting rumors of this type is next year.

By the time we enter the theater, Jonghyun’s face was on the screen singing his part for the Ring Ding Dong MV. Yes, there was a screen on the center of the stagewall. And since, there had been many fangirls who were before us on the line, they were just screaming at the top of their lungs whenever there’s a member (especially if he’s their favorite) being shown on the screen upon entering. So yes, once you enter the theater, you’ll be welcomed with squeals from your kababayan-fangirl/boy.

( ringdingdong and more ^.^ )

WOW! Just plain WOW!

Before the announcement of who's going to perform on this Friendship Day Concert, I have already thought that it was SHINee. So at that time, I decided that I'll do whatever it takes (thinking of the price range I'm willing to shell out) to watch this.
And when the performers were finally announced to the public as well as the date and venue of the concert, I was willing to camp-out at CCP just so I could watch this. But it was not made easy (can't blame them though *though i'm feeling good since I was able to watch the concert haha*) by the organizers because the ticket will be done by electronic raffle so you need to sign-up.
I had the feeling I was not going to be drawn. It was because I never won any raffle contest or even a bingo game in my life (okay, I have won some bingo games but those were easy patterns and no bet involved). So when I saw the 360 winners out of 8000+ who signed-up, I was kind of expecting that I won't win but still gloomy at the same time. I was even pouting and sighing from disbelief at my cubicle that Det caught me and asked me what's wrong.
And so while watching MAMA 2009, I was sad (for not winning) and quite excited (for the MAMA) at the same time. Then by Tuesday, I saw someone posted that they have tickets and asking who wants it from a blogsite. Of course, I emailed her once and tell her my interest. But unfortunately, many already professed so we have to bid monetarily. It was quite pricey but the thought of me missing the concert has gotten my sanity so I bid so high that by noontime, I was the highest bidder. I thought I would get the ticket by Wednesday but the girl told me there was someone who bid higher than me. So there goes my hope down in the drain.
Come Thursday, my heart has finally accepted albeit with sadness that I won't be able to go for today's concert. Though I asked my sister to ask her classmates who're sure to be going if they still know where I can get tickets, I already am without hope. Fortunately, I had to attend a client meeting so I was distracted (lol, work was a mere distraction). But by 10:30am, my sister's classmate texted me asking if I still do not have tickets and she'll find ways for me to have one. This got me so excited so I was so pumped-up during the client meeting with just a bit perkiness involved. By noon after we got back to the office from the meeting, she texted me that she gave my ticket to my sister.

YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

I may not be rich. But I'm proud of such good connections that a day before the concert, everything just fell into place. And yes, thank you God! :)
So the whole afternoon was spent working while listening to my Winterplay album and some Mighty Mouth because I already know SHINee by heart. I need some refreshers to the other two Korean performers. LOL. Yes, I did buy the ticket even if it was originally for free but it was cheap compared to the Super Junior albums I order abroad.
I decided to take a leave today and then go to work tomorrow for the missed working day. I arrived at CCP by 9:30-10:00am. And yes, the concert is still by 5pm but we have been given temporary tickets that we need to surrender by 12noon for the real one. It was tiring but you could smell fangirls and fanboys' excitement in the air. And people are discussing You're Beautiful ep 15 so I was not bored although I hate that I was able to get some spoilers even when I don't want to listen. But it was cool. I was just too excited.
I was a social butterfly. I don't know anyone initially except for my sister's classmate who are with other friends (hers and my sister whom I don't know). So I get to know the Miriam girls and the friend of the Miriam girls who are my age and fangirls I can relate to. Except that they spend bucks attending concerts outside the country. But they're not the typical rich fangirls who boasts around that they were able to do this because they have money. They were so coooool and they're going all the way for these groups because they love them. If only I have the money and the guts to spend it the way they do. So yes, we had lunch at MOA around 1:30pm because they gave out the tickets late already.
By 4:00pm, we were back at CCP because we need to. And everyone was squealing by the right side of the balcony (outside) because SHINee's practicing and during breaks, the boys would take a peek on what's happening outside so the fangirls are on the rage. Each member's fanclub are even doing chants of the name of the members.
By this time, excitement has multiplied already for several times since the morning that even if you step on the shoes of someone, they would not mind it because their only concern is to get into the theater already. There are lines formed already for those who have tickets. But there was a long line for those who are still waiting for the chance to be given free tickets.
15 minutes before 5:00pm or few minutes earlier than this (I'm just estimating, I don't have the time to look at my watch because I was too excited to think clearly). We were able to enterthe theater. :)

So for my spontaneous account while watching MAMA 2009 live, here's what I have to say:

http://flissbreak.wordpress.com/2009/11/21/mama-2009/

I'm using Wordpress for this type of blog. :)

Yan ang tagalog ng Ah-choo aka pagbahing. Kaya naman sa amin sa Marinduque, tawag din sa pagbahing ay paghaching.

Ang weird ng hapong ito. Uminom na nga ako ng Vitamin C kaninang tanghali. But no, may sariling mundo ang ilong ko na humigop ng sari-saring alikabok at dumi o kung anong virus. Kaya naman, ang pangit ng pakiramdam ko. Kanina pa ako bumabahing.

Ang masama nito, pag patuloy kasi akong bumabahing, kumakati rin yung lalamunan ko. At yun ang pinakaayaw ko. Yun lang kasi ang kating hindi mo makamot. Peste talaga. Parang kung pwede lang isuot yung daliri ko mula sa bibig papuntang lalamunan, gagawin ko.

Hindi ako makaconcentrate. Namen. Dami dami pang kailangan gawin. Pero heto, kailangan sumaglit akong mag-blog para ikwento ang kamalasang ito. (Wow, parang magagamot ako eh).

Magkakasakit pa yata ako. After kasi ng mga ganitong pangyayari, tuloy sipon/ubo ito. Oh shoot. 2nd outbreak na ba ng AH1N1 at naapektuhan na ako?

Owel. I'm back to working. Focus focus. Haha.

Just finished watching episode 6 of You're Beautiful/You're Handsome. I will discuss it more next time. But I'm seriously loving it not just because Jang Geun-Seuk is there.

The plot is cool. About young people so I'm loving the young cast. And the hilarity of the script is just freaking awesome.

Plus, the one playing Shin Woo was so cute in this episode. And my heart goes for him (amverysorry, JGS).

Since Shining Inheritance/Brilliant Legacy, I had a thing for good boys or the go-to person of the leading lady yet is seen only by the lead as her friend and nothing more. They are the other side on forming the love triangle yet they don't push their luck and let the two sides get together.

This is weird because I never liked the character of Vic Zhou on Meteor Garden although he was my crush there. More so with Jihoo-sunbae in BOF. I've always had a thing for the lead character.

But yes, since Brilliant Legacy, I have liked these good boys. Maybe because I hate people who push their luck on the love triangle when it's been obvious from the start that the person they like don't like them back. It's just too pathetic. But these good boys do not turn their back. They don't even lose their chance of saying they like that person. Yet, when they are rejected, they don't raise hell on everyone just so the two cannot be happy together. They stay as friends, someone taking care of the one they like just because.

But of course, I'm not losing my sight on the main characters. And when JGS kissed UEE, I almost clutched my heart because I feel for Park Shin Hye's character. Not because I like JGS personally but the scene was acted out so well, I felt myself wearing the shoes of "Go Mi Nam" and feeling the scene.

Haiz. Must get a (love)life. Like seriously.

Well, the storms using male names are.

When I was in elementary and high school (yeah, so that was almost 10-15 years ago), Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration or widely-known as PAGASA use female names for storms entering the Philippine Area of Responsibility. When I asked adults why they do that, they said that females are fickle-minded just like the weather. Or somewhere along that line.

But by the time I was in college, if I'm not mistaken, they started using several names for it, not even names of people are included. Case in point is Bagyong Milenyo.

This year, or just recently, Ondoy ravaged us like it's the end of the world. Like it's his last chance to bring on all his wrath to the world. Unfortunately (or fortunately, wherever you may be geographically located), he chose not the whole world but certain places in Luzon, most especially Marikina, Rizal, Quezon City, Pasig, Taguig, Laguna and Bulacan. I know the list goes on but the bottomline is, it chose the Philippines. 

It was my first time to worry so bad because of a natural calamity. I have experienced earthquakes, even some storms here in Manila and back in Marinduque. But I have stayed calm and remained hopeful.

But Ondoy gave me a different feeling. Days of waiting for my affected friends to text me that they're okay left me agitated. I felt so hopeless and helpless that I can't even rush over to their places to help them out. Being part of the workforce left me feeling that I'm not even worth to be called an Iska or even a Filipino because I can't spend too much time volunteering to help out those affected.

And the Saturday I am waiting for so I could help out is now a day everyone fears about. Because of Pepeng. Even people wanting to help are left immobile because news says that we must stay at home or on 'safe' places such as evacuation centers. If only we can really text "Pepeng (space) OFF" and send to any hotline for it not to pass here, I bet we will spend millions. And as of the moment, everyone is fervently praying that God will spare us from this storm.

Ondoy has left us paranoid. And panicky. We might even be scared of few raindrops that we will experience soon. But I guess it's better to be safe than sorry, as cliche at it may sound.

I just hope that really, Ondoy was too much for us to bear. God spare us from the wrath of Pepeng.

*napatigil ako sa pag-iinternet at nagdasal saglit*


*dito na ako natauhan. hindi dahil bestfriend ko na ang nagtext. pero dahil naisip ko na simula grumaduate ako ng college, hindi ko na masyado nakakausap si meix tulad ng dati. naisip ko rin kung gaano kabait si tita (case in point: sleepover nung HS presscon). at kung paanong this may ko lang nalaman na may breast cancer pala siya. and all the while, i was talking to meix without knowing na maysakit ang mama niya, that everything's going so good in her life*

*hindi pa ako tapos malumbay. kailangan ko na ba talagang lumigaya? pero hindi ko rin napigil ang ngiti at excitement dahil mommy na si mommy!!

*so habang gumagawa ako ng showcards at final skimming and study of qnr before the 2pm briefing, umiiri na pala nang bonggang bongga si mommy. welcome godson seth! ikaw na ang pampalakas ng relasyon ng mga magulang mo. make them stick together para hindi na umasa pa si kumare kay kibum at mabawasan na ako ng isang karibal. maliit ka pero wag kang magalala, 4.11 pounds daw ako nang pinanganak. salamat at nailuwal ka na para makapagmaternity leave na si mommy!*

Life is so fragile. And short. Everything comes and goes in a flash. In a matter of minutes or even seconds, feelings change. And I'm sorry if I can't express much sadness on death. I do dwell on happiness and positive feelings (as transparent as what I've written on Seth's birth). But I would always have fond memories of Meanne's mom. And will make fonder memories with Steph and Seth. Carpe diem!

Anumang inggit na nadarama ngayon ay lilipas din.

Chararat lang ito.

Hindi tayo magiging maligayang-maligaya. Tipong mapapa-cartwheel ka sa tuwa.

Nakakapagod din namang cartwheels ka forever dahil sa ligaya.

Kaya normal lang ito.

Hay, inggitera lang talaga as a person.

it's my first time to use wifi with my cellphone. :) being a notso techy person, I really find this amazing. now I know why touchscreen phones have stylus. 'cause d buttons over the intrnt are so small, nails would touch other buttons.

yes I know. im speaking (or blogging) like a total idiot right now. haha. but this is fun. will see this as soon as I log-on using regular internet.

teddy-ssi, odiseoyo? :p mogo shipoyo. hehe.

Too tired to rant. I just want this all to end. And finally have my Christmas holiday. And I don't plan on working. I'll hibernate on our province. December 19 seems like the longest date I've ever waited for as of the moment.







Kaya kailangan kong pumasok ng maaga bukas.
Hindi dahil para magtrabaho. (Well, of course, I do intend to work)
Kung hindi para maunahan si Jas or lilbigsparkles .
Dahil kung hindi makikita ng buong TNS Makati si 'E' sa cubicle ko.

Sorry for wasting your time. 



I thought I could be there. Maybe it's just PMS.

I dunno. Just thinking that since this journal is the college-girl journal (hullo, rantings from acads to orgs to lovelife or lack thereof; on the other hand, now that I think about it, I guess I would be ranting again when I'm already working, haha), I might make a new one for a change of life.

Like I have to let go of still feeling that I'm in college and I could cram my way to everything. I mean, class cards are not the only thing I should be worrying about. It's the money I'll be bringing to the household soon or in my bank account and the chance to go up that ladder of success. Really now. That really sounds dreadful and gives me anxiety.

Ooooh. I hate having to graduate. The need to be more responsible and mature is just icky. Yet again, there's no other way but up (or work) lest I want to stay in the province and plow our ricefields. I learned so many things in college and plowing the fields is not one of them.

So yeah. I don't know if I have to get a new LJ. I mean, I would only ramble and rant about things, just what I've always done here in blissfreak. But I'll be talking about other things--work, missing college, missing UP, not having a boyfriend, work, officemates, deadline or schedule and work again. I just hope that I'll be talking about them happily or just okay, not ranting about them. Haha.

So there. Just a thought. Maybe a new LJ or a new layout for blissfreak. I dunno. Am so undecided. But if ever I'll be having a new LJ, blissfreak will still be updated once in a while but then, I have to private-lock some entries already. Just to clean it or whatever.

Okay. So I'm calling my laptop Inline already. Haha, just baptized him with a name after a year and a half of having it. The name's Inline because those are the bold letters in the sticker brought by my father from his company. So there, not much of a significant story behind it.

But, it would be doomed for the next few days. :(

Earlier last week, Kaspersky has been bothering me with warning tabs appearing every time I open Inline. It says that I have to renew my license or else, the license would expire. And though I could keep it, it would not be updated anymore, making Inline a very vulnerable techie gadget to viruses and stuffs.

I was already ignoring those warnings last week because I was still consumed and preoccupied with my thesis and worrying about it. It was only a few days after that I started to worry about the expiration of my anti-virus' license. More so, I was worried that I had to pay some fees for it to be renewed. So I did not even thought of clicking the go-here-to-renew option but out of my curiosity, I clicked on it last Wednesday, and I was correct. I have to pay for the renewal.

Me being kuripot and me having no credit card to pay that and me not trusting Internet sites and paying online mean that I'm doomed. And Inline would suffer the consequences. But yes, I have a plan. I plan that I'll just uninstall it then after a day, I will install it again. I do hope that will work. In any case, I guess I have to search for anti-virus and scout and use some free trials. Or if someone could lend me their anti-virus, it would be much appreciated.  Thanks. :)